Thank You
Thank you for giving me confidence.
Thank you for helping me see I don’t have a fear of intimacy.
Thank you for supporting me even though you didn’t always understand.
Thank you for watching Freaks and Geeks with me.
Thank you for discovering corn chips and banana pudding.
Thank you for helping me believe in magic again.
Thank you for letting me know I can love and be loved.
Thank you for letting me realize someone can love the things I thought were not lovable.
Thank you for showing me I can survive on very few hours of sleep.
Thank you for listening to Chance the Rapper even though you don’t like rap.
Thank you for my first satisfying hair cut in years.
Thank you for not saying I love you just because I said it and for saying it when you were ready :)))
Thank you for being honest with me about the other dude.
Thank you for not staying in something you didn’t believe in.
Work Out: A Philosophy by Chance The Rapper
I don’t say “it didn’t work out with us.” I adopted a “it’s gonna work out” philosophy while we were dating when “Work Out” by Chance came out. The Work Out Philosophy or TWOP (haha no one has or will call it that) is most simply if something didn’t go according to your plan, it’s going to work out eventually. So even if you're in a dark place right now, it’ll eventually get better and be just as good in a different way or better than before your dark place. It’s easy to have that mindset when Everything’s Good and I wondered if I could keep that point of view when everything wasn’t good like if/when we’d break up. So far I am. I consider our relationship a success even though we didn’t die in each other’s arms on a rocking chair in 80 years, which seems to be the idealistic goal of a relationship. We both learned a lot and we ended on Really good terms. Even our breakup itself was kinda beautiful in a way. We talked for a total of about 4 hours during the breakup. It was a lot of silence, a Lot of crying, and surprisingly a lot of laughing. I think that’s a sign that we were in a healthy relationship. We never yelled at each other or anything, not because we weren’t passionate but because we were so good at communicating & understanding eachother. She broke up with me. I don’t like when people say it’s mutual, even if it was. This was not mutual haha. I understand that you don’t have to hate someone to break up with them. It just means it’s not the person you’ll end up with.
I really don’t like how people think they have to pick sides when people break up. It doesn’t have to be a ‘me vs. you’ mentality. People rewrite the narrative of that person to make them look bad retroactively when two days ago they were planning what fast food restaurant they would go to on a road trip with their kids. Just because you didn’t end up together doesn’t mean that they’re a bad person or negate all the great things they did for/with you. Also, it makes me skeptical of a person when they hate all their exes. It’s not a good look to me. That’s okay if they’re figuring themselves out and not sure what they want/like, but if they don't like someone that Was their favorite person for months, then what does that say about them? To me, it says they have bad judgment. Which is okay, no one’s born with good judgment. I just don’t want to be in a relationship with that person.
Everyone talks about and has empathy for the person that gets broken up with, but not enough people talk about how hard it is to break up with someone. Pete Holmes has a joke about how you have to plan to break up with someone and like put it in your calendar in your iPhone. New Event: “Hurt Linda” All-day. And that speaks to how it sucks that you have to drop this emotional hurt bomb on someone you love. In a way, it’s easier to be the one broken up with. As the breaker upper, you might be filled with doubt of “is this the right thing to do?” “was she the right girl?” etc.. As the brake upee, you just have to accept the reality (which isn't always easy, make no mistake) and then the hurt is over because you no longer have control of the outcome. You can either wish for months that the circumstances aren't the circumstances, or accept it and come to peace with it and be thankful for what it was. In my case, it’s a beautiful learning experience with a wonderful person that I get to remember whenever I want.
To wrap this up, your significant other isn’t a villain because they ultimately don’t think you have a future, sometimes there’s no sides to pick at the end of a relationship, it’s okay that you don’t have life figured out and just don’t go into a relationship, and most importantly it’s going to Work Out.